Stream Of Consciousness

Its 8:39AM on a sunday, and i'm exhausted.

I pulled a eight hour work day, running errands for my mother, then made the strangely youthful decision to go to the bamboozle. I really only watched one band, Third Eye Blind, though I suppose it wasn't like I was trying to justify a ticket price. I got in for free, so, no disappointment there.

It's the last weekend that my friend Jonathan is in town. Spent most of the evening in his sphere, with our buddy Jude. Jude is solid. He's been looking for a solid, happy gig to fulfill his existence in the touring community, and it appears he finally has. He's tour managing a band called 'Never Shout Never.'

I remember job satisfaction. I remember being a part of this scene.

It was interesting. Being amongst fifty thousand concert go-ers. I seemed to run into someone I knew every ten minutes. I suppose I was only there, on the festival grounds, for like three hours, but still. I ran into so many people, and you begin to think, how does that happen? Is that like going to a comic-con when you work in the comic industry? It's strange, but I felt special and disconnected at the same time. I always had somewhere else to be, and someone else to find. The duration of these interactions found a mean of about 3-5 minutes. They were usually positive, and seemingly validating, but often a reminder of how little I have to say to most people these days.

But there was one particular interaction that stands out in my mind.

As I was about to leave, i was pinched, if i remember correctly. Of all the thousands of people, dozens of which I have known and associated with for over five years in my former career, I would've ignored them all just to have a conversation with her. Her, with no discernible effect on my directionality. Her, with nothing to better me by, nothing beside her intellect, and positive out look. She came, she smiled, and destroyed my indifference, by doing nothing but reminding me of her existence. That, and of her boyfriend's. Oh, how comfortably we shift from conversation to conversation and person to person unaware of the effect we have on people. Maybe some day I'll tell her. But in all honesty, probably not.

Back to work, and day 2.

Still need a vacation.