Brown Friend

From The Phone Part 2

2010-07-18T15:01:00.000-07:00

In Texas' living room.

I went to Texas for New Years Eve 2008. I went with my Brown friend Sadaf, and my White friend Laura. Together we made an oreo.

Continuing on our Texas adventure, we discovered these coasters at a Liquor Store. Neither Sadaf nor I are Indian. But if we had Indian names...

In Texas they sell Guava / Mango flavored Pop Tarts.

At the hotel in Austin. Nash (pinball), Dusty (Texas' brother) and us did Freedom shots. It made sense at the time.

My roommate and I played a lot of Mario Kart Wii in 2008. My friend Julian made a Mii on my Wii, and this appeared one late night after completing a circuit. It's pretty spot on.

My roommate fell in love with Daisy, upon learning of her existence in a Previous Mario Kart game. Game FAQs explained the means, and we spent hours and hours trying to succeed in unlocking her. We failed, and went our separate ways for the evening. I woke up early the next morning to try again, and I was victorious. I sent this picture to her phone, so it would be the first thing she saw in the morning. Needless to say, I was her Hero.

One of the best gifts I ever received. My co-worked Nicole bought this for me, based on my love of bacon, and my namesake. We subsequently began selling it on our website. Obviously, It was a huge hit.

Omar HTL and I. A terrific gentleman. Probably at Mason Dixon. That's where most of my memories are lost these days.

Sugar Pants! We asked customers of Fred Flare to submit Valentines for charity last year. This was one of them. It's a belt, apparently.

The Menu of Kati Roll. Heaven on Earth. If you like Indian food, please seek this place out.

Caitlin Farnsworth. One of the two loves of my life. She lives over a thousand miles away from me. This was when I went out to visit her and...

Jen Polus. The other love of my life. Here we are on the Milwaukee coast. It was winter, and it was cold, but this is one of my most vivid memories of the last few years.

A mansion along the coast of Milwaukee.

An earlier doodlebug, well before I got the scanner installed at my desk.

The best T-Shirt ever made. I'm very mad that I didn't buy it, though I'm sure I could find it easily if I searched for it online.

Doubles! My mother introduced these to me when I complained that I had no breakfast options being Lactose Intolerant. This is a West Indian breakfast sandwich, comprised of a warm flatbread and curried chickpea with a splash of tamarind sauce.

This is at Sangh's on Liberty Ave, the best place to get doubles in queens (or so I'm told)

Fried Rice and Beans. A late night concoction by my roommate Cat Kim. That's what you get when you house a Korean and a Puerto Rican together for a year.

Doodlebugs: Part 1

2010-07-14T06:33:00.000-07:00

More doodlebugs from work. People request these of me on their order forms.

From The Phone Part 1

2010-07-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

All this iPhone 4 talk has made me less confident in my stance as a Blackberry Man. I don't think i'm switching, but when my phone told me today that it couldn't hold anymore photos, I cursed the interface and my inability to get pictures off of my phone with ease (this actually took several hours to do, ugh) but, in the spirit of nostalgia from the first day I got my blackberry curve, I present to you a series of images taken in various stages of sobriety, and over the span of the last two and a half years.

I present to you... From the Phone:

Have you ever heard of King Vitamin cereal? Neither had I. I have never seen it since this picture was taken. An obvious glitch in the Matrix.

July 4th on Eric Robert's roof. Believe it or not, I am not alone in this hot tub, meaning, I am not as creepy as I look.

From the marquis of a church in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It speaks for itself.

Dharma Bar in Barcelona. Brilliant. This was sent to me, I did not take this picture.

A prototype of artificial intelligence that spends it's days walking (rolling) into mirrors at the Uniqlo in Soho. Future generations will be embarrassed to be descendent of this adorable yellow cyborg-human relations robot, much like we are of our Neanderthal ancestors.

Over a year before Michael passed away, a friend and I were shopping at Kim's video (another unfortunate loss, well before it's time), where this poster lived on the elevator doors. (see the next image)

Brown jokes aside, it's quite hard to tell the difference between the two. I'll give you a hint. I'm in 3D.

Speaking of brown people, on the same day as MJ, my friend Amanda and I went to buy LOST kubrik toys at Urban Outfitters. This is Sayid. I didn't actually buy it. We learned the hard way (quite easily) that half the fun of blind boxed toys is the surprise. Almost all of the boxes at Urban in Union Square had already been opened. After we saw them all we grew tired, and remembered that our money was much better spent other things.

Simpsons toys at Urban. Again, we didn't open these, but we did play with them quite a bit. Then returned them to their boxes and went home, having spent no money.

This was taken at Teany with my good friend Christina Lehman. I had a very enjoyable experience and planned to visit again shortly. Weeks later the restaurant burned down. It has only just reopened.

My 25th birthday party. Nicky, and Sadaf reacting to drinks, and to each other. The photos I didn't take of this night involve me on a mechanical bull, and making other bad decisions.

Mo Shoes! I think this is on delancy street. This was after brunch. I don't know if it was a sober one or not.

A stolen shot of me at another brunch with Nicky and Texas and others.

I don't know when this was taken, but I like to think it corresponds with the previous photo. Here's the scenario I like to imagine: We are all eating at a bike shop / italian restaurant. Texas steals my phone and takes a photo of me and then herself to show the parallels in the space, both indicated in the emotional attitude, race, and scenery. If only...

Doodle: Sad Keanu

2010-06-22T18:14:00.000-07:00

So I have been doing a lot of drawing as of late. The madison assignment came at the perfect time, as I feel I have begun refining my abilities. I was even commissioned to design a few pieces for a friends apartment (pictures when I have them). This is an homage to the internet meme 'Sad Keanu' which I'm borderline obsessed with.

Attack Of The Blue Goo! / Blue Goo Strikes Back!

2010-06-21T20:40:00.000-07:00

Eric Miller and I made this using a LEGO branded stop motion animation camera from my job. I quickly fell in love with stop motion animation, though these fourteen seconds of animation took well over four hours to produce. Respect to all animators out there. Keep fighting the good fight.

Merch Guy

2010-06-20T18:22:00.000-07:00

Back in 2004, when I had a mohawk, I designed merch for a band called Madison.

Well, I actually did more than design merch for them. I tour managed them, I videotaped their shows, I sold merch, I took photos. I stage managed, all for free. I would feel slighted if they weren't the reason I began touring in the first place. Actually, I owe them. They are the reason I travelled the world, met the people I did, and had the best five years of my life.
I got a call from their ex-bass player Jonathan, who now plays in Meg & Dia, and he told me they are reuniting for a show on July 31st. In an attempt to make my existence more poetic I asked if I could design a piece of merch for the show, and luckily he obliged. This is an homage to one of my more popular designs for them. I am also designing a poster for the show. I'll post that as soon as it's done.

Masterpiece

2010-06-20T18:09:00.000-07:00

Anyone who saw Toy Story 3 this weekend can vouch for how amazing the short "Day & Night" was. I might go as far as to say it was the best PIxar Short I've seen. See Toy Story 3 in theaters, in 3D, and even if you don't like the movie (you will, don't worry) you will at least love this.

In Defense Of An Episode (The Night I figured Out LOST)

2010-05-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

I finally get it. I'm not supposed to get it. Wait, what?

"Lost Episode 6x15: Across The Sea" was a tougher puzzle to solve than the last few. But what did it all mean? All season I have been saying something to the doubters/haters of the philosophical brilliance of the Flash-Sideways method of story telling, but didn't know what i meant until now: It's not what they answered, It's what you were hoping to find out.

Who knew that I had it figured out all along?

After last night I am certain that Lost isn't telling a story as much as it is philosophizing on the way things are. The island, as a cork, is after tonight, an even more fascinating metaphor for what the island is... for what the world is for some people. Is it a coincidence that we didn't see this "Source" light go out when Man-In-Black was thrown into the abyss, and that the Cork and Light metaphors don't really line up? Not at all, but I'll explain that later.

In Across The Sea, Lost attempted to tell us that from now on, and since the beginning of time there has been a struggle between those that have found purpose in the stories we have been told (Jacob,) and the quest for future purpose (man-in-black.) The idea of finding purpose in what you are destined to do, as opposed to making your own. Which one is right? The answer just might be that there is no answer. Or neither. Both seem to be directionless, according to Lost, or at least a means to a life of unfulfilled. Hardships woven together, in a tragic inability to let go. Maybe we are supposed to accept what we are given. Or maybe some truth lies in the age-old adage "If we can't learn to live together, we are going to die alone."

I'll admit. I didn't like the episode at first. But upon comparing some of its coarse thematic elements I found a pretty reasonable parable.

Like many parents in LOST, It seems the nameless adopted mother, to Jacob and the nameless Man-In-Black was a bit crazy. A Rousseau. A Claire. Hell, even a Christian Shepard: A parent who had an overwhelming impact on the beliefs of her children, albeit on a more subconscious level. And even If we are meant to believe this is as far back as we will ever see in Lost Mythology, it was implied that she was born to someone else, just as her mother was, and her mother before her. All of this, is part of a vicious cycle. Did her mother mess her up? Is the the product of a similar long con?

Whatever her actual story, she divided her beliefs into two very separate, but equal view points: Jacob, the one who was meant to be born, the one with a pre-determined name and a predetermined existence, and the one who was a mistake, an accident and therefore special. Against his will, MIB was treated as someone who was not meant to be, and therefor had a purpose exterior to that of the island world. This wasn't a problem until they the kids discovered there were other people out there, Across the Sea. But metaphorically speaking, there was sin across the sea. Sin continued to come to the island, and fight and kill, and corrupt. Jacob and MIB needed a purpose to stay pure, or not fall from grace, or more literaly, leave the island. In order to ensure their directionality Jacob and MIB were shown a... fountain of light?

Really? Yeah, I thought it too. So, that's it? I thought it was a cork, or I thought there was a pocket of electromagnetic energy. Or Blah blah blah. Well, before we get deeper, first think about all of the other purpose fulfilling reveals of Lost:

They ware shown a puddle full of light. But what about when Alpert needed one, he saw a cork. Locke needed one, he found a hatch. Desmond needed one, he pushed a button for three years. The men of faith on this show have found ways to direct themselves to a greater purpose. Meanwhile, the empiricists have seen the same things and found ways to destroy those men. In other words A Jack for every Locke. A smokey for every Jacob. Forget not that all of these people are the victims of their own predecessors attempts at predestination.

So who is right, you ask? Was Smokey lying to everyone all along? What's the deal with Walt? Was he special? What was the point of the Hydra island? Was Charlie supposed to die? What are the rules that Ben and Widmore are playing be? Is it a cork? Is it just an island? These are all important questions... After all Maybe it is just a fucking island. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's all self-proposed purpose. Maybe it is special. Maybe it's all what you make of it. Maybe they'll never tell us.

That last maybe was a joke. They definitely won't tell us.

Wait, what? I thought you figured it out? Why won't they tell us?

Because maybe that's the point. These vagaries, these mysteries are all open to interpretation by the two sides to the same coin. Or better yet because no one knows the answers to these questions. These narrative decisions are no mistake. It is interesting to me to think that the nameless antagonist idea now is fundamentally clear as an narrative choice. It meant something. At their core, Jacob and Man In Black are the exact same person. Born on the same day from the same woman, but they are two completely different people. One has a name and the other doesn't. One has a purpose and the other one seemingly doesn't, but it is merely the opposite purpose of Jacob's. The nature vs. nurture argument is prevalent here. It seems that nurture prevails as the problem in this instance. The Man in Black feels betrayed the most by a mother that won't let him explore his potential, his roots, his origins, and even though Jacob is granted the ultimate responsibility, and eternal life, he is downtrodden, and feels that he is loved the least.

Can or Will the Man in black get off the island? No. In the same way that Jacob never achieved his ultimate goal: To prove that man is a pure soul. We have all been asking, and discussing some of the oldest questions, and debating mysteries that cannot, and will not be solved. There are no answers, only questions. And every question will only lead to another one, and while that was a brilliant writers trick, it says a lot about their seemingly aesthetic choices over the years. All of the unanswered questions finally begin to propose a bigger thematic idea: Which one are you? Are you an empiricist or a man of faith. Someone who finds truth in answers, or truth in experience. Rewards in exploring, or in soul searching. I never questioned this before. If you were to ask me yesterday if I was a logical person, I would say yes, but after this episode, after seeing how I've viewed Lost the last few years (hell, even this season) I think I might be a man of faith after all. Believing that ultimately there is a purpose for my being, and that the questions, however big they may be, are not a means to any end.

It is unfortunate that half of Lost's audience are empiricists. I learned this the hard way by watching half of the audience from my weekly viewing storm out upset. Upset that they did not leave with more answers than they did. But as we approach the finale and the creators propose Radio silence after the finale, I think maybe the joke is on us. No matter the reaction, it's the discussion they proposed from the start. It's all a game, between Light and Dark. Faith and Empiricism. No side is right or wrong, they are two completely different ways of looking at the world, and if we cannot learn to accept that our ability to see the world in either way is no fault of our own, but the way we are raised, then we are going to continue to hate, fight, and corrupt each other in ways that lead us nowhere. Or maybe each go around is just progress (Jacob's words, not mine)

Like you had to remind me...

2010-01-29T05:22:00.000-08:00

I opened my most recent netflix to continue numbing my Lost inspired separation anxiety with The Wire: Season 2 (amazing show, btw) and this is what I see.

If you haven't seen this image, you can find a higher resolution one here... no spoilers, but it does contain every single cast member from the show's history.

Lost Premiere week fun:

Lost Trivia @ Professor Thom's

Lost Premiere event @ The Bell House featuring a live performance by "Previously On Lost"

My Year On The Bike

2010-01-28T18:56:00.000-08:00

On January 1st, 2010 I started writing a novel, taking part in a delayed version of Nation Novel Writing Month. The challenge being: write a novel (50,000 words) in 30 days. Today, I have completed the challenge. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and the beginning of a whole new chapter (no pun intended) of my life. To all of those who have asked, yes, you will eventually be able to read it, but it is far from done. I am going to take some time off to celebrate, and then get started on the second draft of what is now being referred to as: "My Year On The Bike." More soon.

AWK

2010-01-02T07:04:00.001-08:00

Apparently Andrew W.K. is not real. He is an idea manufactured by a committee. Also, there have been several AWKs, and the one we have right now is not the same one from 'I Get Wet.' I feel a little disenchanted by this. I don't know why.

Read more about it here...

The "F" Word

2009-11-06T05:28:00.000-08:00

Those who know me, know I have been a fan of South Park since the very beginning. Those who know me better, know my dream in life is to either meet- "meet" meaning voluntarily, and not a forced "hey, i'm such a big fan"-Trey Parker, and Matt Stone. In the last 12 years, I have yet to meet anyone else with, or hear a common shared view point that I can listen to with such an authoritative nature without feeling i'm being preached to, or talked down to. That said, on wednesday, they have finally made an episode that touched upon a subject I have been battling with for quite sometime. The casual use of the word "faggot," or "fag."

The episode (clip above) makes it's statement pretty quickly: Kids today are not using the F Word (from here on out) as a gay bashing epithet... they are using it to describe something annoying, or obnoxious. Now, whether or not you feel that means they are likening it to homosexuals being annoying, or obnoxious, is irrelevant, because they spend a great deal of time informing us that the F word has meant MANY things through the years... one of those being a slander of Old People, Women, and even a bundle of sticks.

So Trey and Matt's message ultimately unfolds to a simple "Let's make it mean something else" and the something else they make it mean, is "An extremely annoying, inconsiderate person most commonly associated with Harley riders. or A person who owns or frequently rides a Harley"

I'm writing this on the way to work, because i've been thinking about it all night. I wish I had someone around to actively debate this with, because i'm leaning towards their side, but I can't help but feel that it isn't that simple. I have recently reprimanded TWO of my good friends for using the word so casually... not because I think they are bashing homosexuals, but because I feel they are above the word. Trey and Matt have been open about their use of it, and they aren't homophobes, clearly. But is "taking the word back" really the answer?

I don't know. Just some food for thought. Despite my frustrations, I'm happy that I have something to internally debate. Makes me realize I can never be too comfortable with my disposition on any hot button topic.

Worst. Album. Ever.

2009-10-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

Not a negative person these days. I know bands change, and evolve. This isn't evolution. This is degradation. This is insulting. This is garbage. "Can't Stop Partying"? Are you serious?! How old are you, Rivers? I never thought anything you could do would effect your past discography, but I don't think I can ever listen to your band seriously ever again.

Millhouse

2009-09-25T16:49:00.000-07:00

The beginning of his life story will forever be a mystery, but somewhere in the ripe third (human) year of his life, a black cat took shelter under my car and my life has never been the same.

I have never known a more unconditional desire for affection than in the presence of him. He lived to be around people, to be like them. He was a talker, and a drooler, and kept a weird schedule. But I loved him and he was part of my family.

Rest In Peace, Millhouse (Thrill-house) Shafeek.

On Vampires

2009-09-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

America's new-found love of Vampires is silly. It has also been adequately satirized in South Park's 12th season finale "The Ungroundables"... There is nothing sexy to me about vampirism. The sexuality that seems to surround "True Blood" and CW's impending debacle "Vampire Diaries" is strangely excessive. Being bitten by a vampire is as romantic to me as Harry Potter flying into your room on a broom stick, or a mustachioed, Italian plumber rescuing you from the clutches of a giant lizard.

That said, Vampire culture is pop-culture, and so is my job. The drawing above is my attempt at Satire, though so-and-so from northern California will likely find little amusing about my drawing. Such is life. At least the girls in my office thought it was funny.

Ponyo

2009-06-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

It's strange that my most anticipated films of the year have both been rated G. Oh well. Miyazaki is my hero.

Jewish Hamster Vs. Mobster Hamsters

2009-06-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

Another strange request, and a personal fave... Hence this post. Jewish Hamster (obviously) inspired by Woody Allen.

Morning Musings

2009-06-12T20:05:00.001-07:00

Dia: "Good Morning"
Mo: "How'd you sleep?"
Dia: "Good. I dreamed about nothing but food all night!"
Mo: "Oh, no. Are you really hungry?"
Dia: "No! I just have no imagination!"

This exchange made me smile all day. I don't know why.

I have a house (apartment) guest all weekend. Going to enjoy New York City for a change and live vicariously through the eyes of a stranger to my home.

Page 1 of 2

2009-05-26T17:50:00.001-07:00

"---. I will soon be gone. I hate this fucking
---e and go through makes me want drown
-ore to come. I just want to leave this place.
----from. All of you and this sick deranged
--ing into without my consent. People dont
--I can't stand this place anymore. I thought"

I found half of a letter to someone today, on the sidewalk outside of work.

I'm pretty sure it was intended to be a suicide note. Whether or not it made it to it's intended recipient is a mystery. There was an e-mail address on the bottom of the half I found that I immediately contacted with my sympathies. What else can you do, right?

Here's hoping the other half wound up in the garbage, along with the intent.

The Incident

2009-05-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

I had to write a recap for my job, so I'm not doing it again... also, it's not very good, so don't read it.

What did I think?

Amazing, duh? That should be a given right? Surprisingly I have heard more negative feedback about this finale than any other. I get it, but I don't. This season has been a bit jarring, and the finale was no different. But if you don't trust the creators of the show at this point, then when can you?

Technically only seven months until LOST season 6 in 2010. That's still a lot of time. Especially if you're a single, loser like me.

I promise this is the last I speak of this on here for a while. But if you want to theorize... I am always down.

Fun stuff to pass the time:

Dharma Labels: For you're season 6 premiere party.

Vintage Dharma ads: Because inside jokes are funny.

Master of faces

2009-05-11T18:20:00.000-07:00

I saw this on someone's facebook, then spent the better part of an hour looking for a higher resolution.

Yes, I am a nerd. But, you know what? I have never been more happy to be one. See ya'll wednesday.

Star Trek

2009-05-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

J.J. Abrams directed one of my favorite feature-length action/adventure dramas of all time: the Pilot episode of Lost. Aside from that, there's an awful lot of credit being given to the man, in my opinion, who has been attached, only in name, to a lot of great things. He is not responsible for any of the creative aspect of Lost, nor is he liable for Cloverfield, really. I address these things not because I dislike him, but only because I want it to be clear I did not go to see Star Trek as a J.J. fan, despite what many have assumed. I like Star Trek. I am not a Trekker (proper) but I have seen several of the films, in theaters, watched a good portion of the latter series, and have even been to the Star Trek: Experience in Las Vegas. I consider myself a middle ground. Though in anticipation of the new film, and after seeing it I hardly consider myself a target audience member.

Appealing to the masses is always a gamble. But still an interesting exercise in convincing people of what they want. I haven't heard more people excited to see a movie that is representative of (forgive me for saying it this way) Nerd Culture since Watchmen, and before that Lord Of The Rings. People have been talking about it non-stop for the last few months, as if they have, ever in their lives, considered Star Trek a series worthy investing time in. The iconography speaks for itself, so, I suppose, it has that going for it: Sure, everyone knows Kirk, Spock, and the phrase "live long and prosper," but it suggested to me, a sort of a leap of faith to expect anyone to care. But, somehow they did. "Finally, a Star Trek for everyone!" applaud several critics. I guess they are right. I guess that's where Star Trek succeeds beyond Watchmen in making it's own identity in the face of expectations.

But I didn't realize it until I was browsing past trailers for Star Trek movies, how smart Star Trek actually is. It's a really really clever series, that tackles an impressive amount of scientific theory, and philosophy and makes it entertaining. The movies, albeit hit or miss, were always attempting to procure a feeling of worthiness of the stories being told on the big screen. There were some duds, and lots of camp, but to me never was there was a problem with it's exclusivity.

This movie? It was good. It was probably the best Star Trek, but only in execution of a promise, not in story or grandeur. It was kinetic, and loud, and vivid, and evenly paced, and the cast was attractive, and it was funny, and it made all the right subtle acknowledgments to the classic series (red shirts) and most importantly it made me excited for a sequel... but... something was missing.

I can't say what, but I feel it has to do with it's pandering. As a middle of the road Star Trek fan I felt somewhat above the shallow revenge plot, and although they did approach some iconography with subtlety I felt somewhat belittled by some of the constant nudging: "all I have left are my BONES" and being sure we knew that Chekov had a funny accent, even as a youth. As an origin story it was fleeting, and as a new adventure it was episodic at best. There's a lot that can be achieved in a origin story. Take time, establish your characters, even the ones that already exist, as real complex beings beyond their catch phrases... This should not have been a problem considering the plot of this movie.

I feel bad complaining at all. This movie wasn't really for me, but maybe that's the problem. And it really was almost perfect, but I can't help but feel like something substantial was lost in the compromise. Here's hoping the sequel will knock it out of the park now that it's established that these characters can be loved and adored by a new generation.

Bullets Over Broadway

2009-05-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

"Which would you save if you rushed into a burning building and could only save one: an anonymous human being or the only remaining copy of the complete works of William Shakespeare?"

Woody, you certainly know how to throw a wrench in my spokes.

Maybe I am an artist, after all.

Stream Of Consciousness

2009-05-03T05:34:00.000-07:00

Its 8:39AM on a sunday, and i'm exhausted.

I pulled a eight hour work day, running errands for my mother, then made the strangely youthful decision to go to the bamboozle. I really only watched one band, Third Eye Blind, though I suppose it wasn't like I was trying to justify a ticket price. I got in for free, so, no disappointment there.

It's the last weekend that my friend Jonathan is in town. Spent most of the evening in his sphere, with our buddy Jude. Jude is solid. He's been looking for a solid, happy gig to fulfill his existence in the touring community, and it appears he finally has. He's tour managing a band called 'Never Shout Never.'

I remember job satisfaction. I remember being a part of this scene.

It was interesting. Being amongst fifty thousand concert go-ers. I seemed to run into someone I knew every ten minutes. I suppose I was only there, on the festival grounds, for like three hours, but still. I ran into so many people, and you begin to think, how does that happen? Is that like going to a comic-con when you work in the comic industry? It's strange, but I felt special and disconnected at the same time. I always had somewhere else to be, and someone else to find. The duration of these interactions found a mean of about 3-5 minutes. They were usually positive, and seemingly validating, but often a reminder of how little I have to say to most people these days.

But there was one particular interaction that stands out in my mind.

As I was about to leave, i was pinched, if i remember correctly. Of all the thousands of people, dozens of which I have known and associated with for over five years in my former career, I would've ignored them all just to have a conversation with her. Her, with no discernible effect on my directionality. Her, with nothing to better me by, nothing beside her intellect, and positive out look. She came, she smiled, and destroyed my indifference, by doing nothing but reminding me of her existence. That, and of her boyfriend's. Oh, how comfortably we shift from conversation to conversation and person to person unaware of the effect we have on people. Maybe some day I'll tell her. But in all honesty, probably not.

Back to work, and day 2.

Still need a vacation.

TGUK Set List

2009-05-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

May 1st, 2009 Blender Theatre New York City

Brand New
You Won't Know
Okay, I believe you...
New Song
Archers
Degausser
Jesus Christ
Quiet Things
Seventy Times Seven

The Get Up Kids
Coming Clean
Action & Action
The One You Want
Valentine
Holiday
Woodson
Never Be Alone
Red Letter Day
Up On The Roof
Campfire Kansas
Holy Roman
Mass Pike
No Love
I'm A Loner, Dottie, A Rebel
I'll Catch You

Encore:
Close To Me (The Cure)
Don't Hate Me
Ten Minutes
Walking On A Wire

I have no voice. They closed with On A Wire, and all was suddenly right in my life.

Trying to see them at Bamboozle tomorrow too. Wish Me Luck.

The Get Up Kids

2009-04-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

I'm hosting my own little mini-celebration this week. It's mostly in my head, partially on my blog. So therefore, if you're reading this, you're officially part of it. Thanks for joining! In case you couldn't tell already, the celebration is in honor of a little five piece emo-outfit from Kansas called The Get Up Kids.

Their second full length album, 'Something To Write Home About' was the first record I ever bought... well, okay, not counting 'Green Day - Dookie,' but that's like a pre-requisite for life, in general (not the MxPx album... but, yeah, that too.) But I suppose it all started when my friend Karen lent me a tape of an MTV program called 120 minutes back in Junior year of High School. It was on that very tape I caught their video for 'Action & Action'... couple that with the existence of the original Napster, and boom! My life has never been the same.

On friday I am going to see the Get Up Kids for the first time since the Guilt Show tour of... I'm going to throw out the year 2004, but I could be wrong. So, as long as five years! In honor of this tremendous occasion I am listening to every TGUK record in sequence. One a day for the next four days. I started yesterday with the Woodson EP, so I'm sorry if I started without you.

What are you waiting for? You know you have at least one of their CDs. You're not fooling anyone.

-Mo

P.S. oh, and if you're one of those 'everything after 'something to write home about' is crap' kind of people, well then, I don't know if I want you celebrating with me.

3:47:45 AM

2009-04-25T00:47:00.000-07:00

About twenty minutes ago I was awoken and summoned into the city to take care of a friend who appears to be having a bad brownie experience.

Here's somethings on my mind:

1. I had planned on sleeping through the evening and waking up at 6AM and writing ALL DAY. This plan only seems delayed, though, possibly ruined:

"At least you'll have something to write about" my friend mused, between coughs, and statements like "I just wish this wasn't real life."

2. I was checking orders at work and I had a moment. It was so enlightening that I had to write it on a post-it:

"Remember: 4/23/09 10:45AM... ish. The same day TMNT turned 25. Coincidence?"

What it signifies is the first time in almost eleven months that I thought about my life in the present tense, and didn't drown in "what-ifs."

My buddy Paul told me grief is like someone un-spooling your ball of yarn. It takes forever to wind it back up. It's not as climactic when you get it back together, but try not to feel satisfied. After he said this, he admitted it was not his own, but that of a pamphlet he found at a funeral.

3. Yesterday was the 25th Anniversary of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Complete with an outdoor screening of the original motion picture, as part of the tribeca film festival. The actual turtle-mobile was there, with a museum of 25 years of memorabilia: original action figures, and comics etc. I have pictures... just not here.

4. It's almost 4:00AM now. In about 10, 9, 8, 7, 6....

5. I really hope I don't have to be here till 5:00AM

Hell Has Frozen Over

2009-04-21T06:26:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting for this mickey-fickey dvd set for almost 12 years now.

Let's all get milk-faced and hum like rabbits.

Album Review: Here, Here and Here

2009-04-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

I got drunk yesterday. Like, really drunk. On the scale of 1 to 10 (1 being tipsy and 10 being blacked-out on stage with Steel Train playing the drums) I was at like 8. I didn't realize I was at 8 until this morning, but if anyone saw my facebook wall, or... well, me, would know I was fantastically well last night.

I already did this review last night, in a sense, over the phone, drunkenly, to Meg Frampton, the songstress, the elder of the Meg & Dias. I believe it went something like this:

Me: "Megan!" (Meg isn't short for Megan... it isn't short for anything)
Meg: "Mo! How are you?"
Me: "Oh, i'm fine... sorry to bother you (apology one) but I... I know you're home with your family, so i'm sorry (apology two) but I already called your sister, and your boyfriend, and I felt weird calling all of you back to back to tell you... i'm sorry (three) if that's weird, it made more sense yesterday. I was just calling to tell you how much I love your record"
Meg: "Aw, thanks, Mo. That's so nice, especially coming from you."
Me: "It's so good!..." Here I go into a strange amount of detail about the guitar tone on the second track, and how much I loved the intricacies of the record, juxtaposed with their pop-sensibilities still in tact. I tell her that I think she and her sister have done a wonderful job of creating a unique sound, and brilliantly delivering on the promises made in their past efforts, but still being surprising at the same time. "I fucking loved it!"

I'm sober now... but as eloquent as i'd love to be, that pretty much sums it up. And for those who would say I cannot be critical because of my relationship to the band, are right, in theory. This assumes the fact that one has to like their friends' bands. Of course I liked all of my friend's bands. But now not only do I like Meg & Dia, but after this record I am also a huge fan.

When Meg first played the demo for the title track of the record "Here, Here and Here" for us in a hotel, somewhere, the location escapes me now, it was envisioned to be the opening track to a series of songs she was preparing for a number of reasons: To silence her detractors; to please her super-fans; to propose a hypothesis to skeptics, make her family proud, and to pay tribute to her favorite artists (writers and authors.) This is no easy task... To fulfill any one of these goals is impressive, from the perspective of anyone who has aspired to create for anything other than self-satisfaction... some would say it was a bit of a long shot for her, and the troop that loyally vowed to support her, and her eclectic garage band demos.

That was over a year ago, and I've heard bits and pieces a few times. I heard "Black Wedding," and a few others in car rides with Jonathan, their bassist, and liked what i heard, but never put them into context. They were unmastered, and to me, much more importantly... unsequenced. I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to album sequencing. It can make or break a record. Coldplay X&Y? Worst track sequencing of all time. You try reorganizing that record, I guarantee you will like it so much more. Anyway, one thing led to another, and it finally got a release date, and I went to see them on the Take Action Tour, my first time seeing them live since I quit working for them in March of 2008.

Something was off: New songs aren't supposed to translate as well as these did. But songs I never heard before stuck out, and now I had expectations of the record. In my opinion, this is a sure fire way to disappoint yourself. But, I did, and when I saw them a second time on the tour, I looked forward to the new songs, and it only made me want to hear the record more (what new songs are supposed to do, i assume) So, I finally put on the record, with high hopes, and preconceived notions, not only of what it should sound like, and what it represented, and who the people were, and what the live energy will manifest itself as... Some would say it was a long shot for me, to be satisfied with small headphones on at my job in a cubicle... You know, as a fan.

So how is it?

The first thing I noticed was that Here, Here and Here was the last track on the record, and I had to check other websites to make sure I was listening to it in the right order... This was the only disappointment to be had. From beginning to the title track Meg & Dia managed to create a steadily paced, emotionally driven, dynamic, and catchy record that fulfills every promise made in their past. It takes huge leaps of faith, and with every hook lands gracefully each time. It is pop, but is rock, and I mean rock like, with rich textures and thoughtful lead guitar driven composition... it's accessible, but not simplistic. It's warm, and nice, but heavy and abrasive. It is memorable, and distinct. Such a success is so rare these days, it made me jealous. Maybe it was seeing the process from idea to conception but this, this project, this epic undertaking, is a success on all accounts, and I want to know what i feels like, so bad, to hold that success in your hands and stare at the finished product.

In the past I feel like I've wanted to know everything about my favorite records, and I finally got my wish. I thought touring had ruined some of that for me. Because knowing too much can dilute the mysticism of art that is supposed to represent a time and place, and a feeling. It's hard to regain that, and I thought that's why I love less and less records these days, that don't belong to musicians I haven't been a fan of for years. But, still, I love this record. And I know lots of people will love this record, for a variety of reasons. even if only for it's lyrical content (for which Dia has managed to knock out of the park, as well) which is anthemic, and heart-felt, and sincere, but for me it's more than that. There is something incredible going on with these musicians, and I cannot wait for the world to know what I know. If that isn't fandom, I don't know what is.

It seems I have succumbed to the derivatives of my favorite bands, and grown to appreciate the newer applicants, all from the inside, so you'll have to understand this is a breath of fresh air. Even though it will all be new to me from now on with M&D, it's an experience I am looking forward to surprisingly, but I am so grateful to have been a part of it. And if anyone experiences even a portion of what I have with this record, you will be in for a pleasant surprise.

Mo Shafeek
Ex Tour Manager.

RIP PRS

2009-04-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

If you can imagine, this specimen, one of NYC's most eligible bachelor's of 2009 (according to the NY Post.) is my best friend.

There is quite a meticulous effort on his part to place a dark shadow on his previous incarnations: The one that I fell in love with was wearing orange UFO pants, a superman T-Shirt, and had bleach liberty spikes. But, there he is, my bestie, my hero, almost ten years after the first time I met him.

Rest In Peace Punk Rock Steve. We hardly knew ye'

read more:

Meg & Dia - Black Wedding

2009-04-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite people in the world made a music video. It premieres today on mtv all day. Check it out. Their new album "Here, Here, and Here" comes out next week.

Meg & Dia - New Music - More Music Videos

Fishsticks + Me = Gay Fish

2009-04-08T21:54:00.000-07:00

This will probably be down any minute now, but until then...

**Edit** Thank god for southparkstudios.com. Please watch every episode of South Park on there. You'll be a better person for it, I promise.

Adventureland

2009-04-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

First, let's start off with the idea of expectations. I always feel it's fair to explain the variables involved before surmising a critique, positive or negative. Adventureland is a product of many promises made by past experiences of mine, something which can be said of almost anything, but the reason I bring this up is because they stir a wide range of emotions. Let's start with the first thing that pops into my head, before, and after, having seen the film, when I think of the film: Kristen Stewart.

I saw Twilight, like so many would have liked me to, with a friend who subsequently apologized about subjecting me to such a disaster. I didn't mind the story, it was on par with the Harry Potter series in its escapist, creative, albeit juvenile, appeal, in the way that I wanted to know what happened to the characters, even if I would never want to subject myself to seeing a grown man sparkle in the woods ever again. The most forgettable thing about such a horrible movie was the lead actress, in appeal, in talent, in making me feel sympathetic for a teenager in such a compelling situation. I guess I had seen her before. Someone would remind me of the girl in Panic Room, a film I loved, but now a brunette, and a leading actress. Okay, I bite. But, it wasn't until I saw the trailer for Adventureland that I found myself completely drawn to this woman. Maybe it was the way she was presented to me, girl-next-door, with a sexual undertone, exhibited only in private quarters, romantic, and understated... I don't know, these are the things I got from the trailer, but I was sold. I was going to see this movie, solely for this woman, and this woman alone. I'll get back to this later.

Jessie Eisenberg? "I loved Squid and the Whale" a co-worker blurted at me at the mere mention of this film, and the only reaction I could conjure was "Oh, that's where he's from." when I really wanted to say "Ugh." I will not be quick to dismiss the good qualities of TSATW but I will hastily say, for the sake of time, that I thought it was entirely over rated, but not bad. But, I didn't realize the charm of this movie was found in the leading role, it was almost jarring, but then I saw Kristen Stewart on the poster and forgot all about it.

Next there's Bill Hader, and Kristin Wiig. Up and coming character actors of SNL fame. They stole the shows in their small parts in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Knocked Up, and put them together as a wacky couple! Sold!
Next, it's made by Greg Mattola, the creative force behind one of my favorite comedies in the last few years (Superbad.) Throw in Ryan Reynolds, someone who I've always found underestimated, and constantly charming. I even sat through the movie 'Just Friends,' at the behest of my girlfriend-at-the-time, just to see Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit get the girl. Like anyone would ever believe such a preposterous notion... Finally, Martin Starr, Freaks and Geeks. Enough said.

So, what's this movie about?

I don't know.

I mean this on a deeper level than boy-gets-shitty-job, boy-falls-love, back-and-forth, boy-gets-girl. I really tried to get a grasp on, you know, the why it was necessary to tell this story? I've had some time to mull it over, and unfortunately I have nothing to provide, more than, it was possibly a script that Greg Matolla's has been holding onto since he was a college graduate, and his way of coping with being a nice guy in a world where the bad guys always get the girl.

I've written that story too, in my head, and on paper, when I was 17. It had a similar outcome, of course: The good guy eventually gets the girl, after the girl realizes she should've just opened her eyes a little wider, to see eternal happiness exists in the form of the guy (me, or jessie eisenberg) who would do anything for her (kristen steward, or... every girl i met from the age of 16-21) It's not a bad story to tell, but was it worth the expense of such a great cast? I ask this because it's not even me being a cynic about the fleeting emotions of such a dynamic, because these characters are supposed to be college graduates, but i'll let that slide, but because there was little to no consequence to any of the principle cast members. Considering the timely predicament of telling the story 'Love in the time of Recession' everyone's greatest hopes and dreams (losing their virginity, acceptance, happiness, succeeding) are given to us at face value as if these themes are so transient that the mere mention of them is enough to make the audience empathize.

So there's a kid who can't go to his Ivy League school because his parents hit an unfortunate snag financially, so he get a shitty job, which isn't really that shitty, you're just told it's really shitty... even though he immediately gets along with everyone, and has fun every day that he's there. Then there's girl who is already going to an Ivy league school, who's just home for the summer. Her dad has since moved on after losing his wife, her mother, and she's mopey about it. She gets a shitty job even though her family hasn't been effected by the economy and starts sleeping with a married man. The married man is nice enough to her, and she meets a kid who absolutely adores her, but for some reason it's cause for some big moral conundrum. All of these things would be excusable if they didn't pull the punches on the really socially interesting problems they present... whether it's the lead character's, now, completely inexplicable, way of telling the same stories to different people, and where that gets him with each different character type. Or, his dad's drinking problem, or that grim look on Martin Starr's face every time Jessie says he loves Kristen Stewart or the popular girl's desire to be with someone nice for a change, or the married man's on going lie... these all seem to be common threads to a story of the things we tell ourselves and how they reflect what we tell everyone else, but for some reason they never quite come to a head. Everyone stays the same, even the principle characters. No one changes in this movie. They all go through something that could potentially make their lives, or at least they way they project themselves to the outside world different, but instead they all go about their lives, except they decide to hook up with different people... like I said, the moral of the story I wrote when I was 17. The idea that all it takes for a person to get over their insecurities and change for the better is having the love of different person in their life doesn't even translate that confidently, it dissolves in a scene when Jessie and Kristen meet in NYC at the end and she says more-or-less "sorry i didn't tell you I was screwing a married man, and didn't let you love me" and he says "it's okay, I can love you now, because even though you liked me and screwed a married man, you're still a good person, and that's good enough for me," which is fine, totally fine, but what did they learn? I didn't learn anything, that's for sure, and she learned she should probably be with someone who likes her (duh!) and he learned... nothing, he was just persistent and finally got a girl to like him, that's all.

Ugh. That said, it was still enjoyable. I think I am absolutely in love with Kristen Stewart, only because it reminds me of every girl I ever fell in love with when I was younger. I doubt she's like that in real life, but if she wasn't acting, or as bad an actress as she was in twilight, then I might just have my first celebrity crush in over five years (move over michelle branch) I was just disappointed by the promise this story had with all it's interesting characters, and actors. If you noticed I didn't mention Hader or Wiig, because... they are completely useless characters. It's not that much to ask for that if you are going to set up something pay it off. Don't do things inexplicably, just teach us something about love, or life, or at least present an interesting philosophy on youth, or understanding, or the recession, or passion, or something! Of course they are going to get together! At least make it an interesting ride to get there.

I'm a loner, Dottie... A Rebel!

2009-04-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

Achieving a rapid rate of success with the most trivial of things...

Yesterday, I aspired to return some sneakers from H&M and with the refunded income, purchase a secondhand (thus cheaper) copy of The Venture Bros. Season 3. I went to Academy Records, my little secret, favorite store in all of New York City, and not only did I find a SEALED copy of VB3, but I also found a sealed copy of Spirited Away... one of the five missing pieces of my sanity... I'll explain some other time.

Today, I sat on the live nation website, sweating nervously at the horrifying idea that for some reason I would not be able to purchase tickets to see The Get Up Kids on May 1st, for their first show in NYC since their break up a few years ago. It was possibly the most nerve racking twenty minutes of my adult life... Goes to show how much little actual drama I go through in my life. Needless to say, I got the tickets (thank TGUK for making it WILL CALL ONLY,) and I can finally see my favorite band of all time play another show, after missing their last show due to working on the road.

I am a late bloomer with technology, but not for lack of trying. I have been coerced into joining Twitter, but I will have to be dragged in kicking and screaming... You see, I am currently tackling the, geriatric to most, new to me, phenomenon of PODCASTS. They are free (for the most part) and incidentally the average length of my walk to and from work. Now I learn for about an hour a day, instead of listening to the same 16gigs of music I have been listening to since Summer 2008.

See, it's all about the little victories!

I say this because I haven't written a page in almost two weeks, and I has done something very interesting to my perspective. It seems my experiment to recharge my creative battery has only proved to me that I am pretty reliant on this whole writing-a-book thing i've been doing as a source of identity. I don't really like not having a goal, or a direction. I've never felt anything like it, possibly a side-effect of the doldrums of the 9-6 job, or...I don't know... something more abstract.

I don't know where I was going with this, but, I am getting back to work tomorrow. That and I think I need to go outside more often. How do I go about doing both exactly?

Dead!

2009-03-31T19:13:00.001-07:00

Any one who appreciates this is a friend of mine.

Bharma

2009-03-21T21:04:00.001-07:00

Yo, Fellow Losties... Holy shit. My friend Steven just walked into a bar in Barcelona called Bharma. He BBMed me a picture, but it didn't do it any justice. Oh, man. Why don't we have one of these here?

http://www.bharma.com/

Top 5 Worst Dates of all time...

2009-03-12T20:47:00.000-07:00

Almost spring time. Slightly warmer. Slightly more adjusted.

Working on the second draft of UNTITLED. Chapter 04, and still motivated, though, easily distracted.

I attempted to be somewhat social, and surround myself with the company of a recent entry into my sphere of influence. It did not work out as planned... and subsequently, after telling the story, I was informed that I was the victim of the worst date of all time.

I do not know what said party member remembers of the events, but even if she agrees with at least two, maybe even all four of the following pieces of information, i would hope she would consider the evening a failure on her part.

She:

1. Arrived to our planned engagement over an hour and a half late...

2. With someone else...

3. Stumbling drunk...

4. Then decided she needed to leave, citing an early day the next morning, after only being there for 10 minutes.

No apology yet. Probably shouldn't hold my breath.

It's a good thing I'm writing a novel about the benefits of the acceptance, and accountability and of the individual.

I am my own therapist, and always have been.

Who needs a drink?

-Mo

On Happiness

2009-02-25T16:25:00.001-08:00

Fuck this movie. Seriously. Dear god. It's been a while since I have HATED a film. I've been racking my brain since 10:45 last night trying to figure out what it is about the movie. All I can think of is the friends I had in college who had the movie poster in their dorm...

I've been sitting down watching movies on netflix for the last two months, catching up on the kind of fare that everyone "needs" to see... your 'Godfathers,' your 'Deer Hunters,' Woody Allen films, Blade Runner, etc. You name it I have it on my queue to catch up. I no longer want to be out of the cultural loop. First I'll tackle movies, then i'll tackle novels. Either way, the best part of doing this now, at 25, out of film school, is I have been free of expectations... which is impossible to avoid. But, I sit down, and watch these movies, based on their merits and take from them what I can.

I watched Rain Man, and Scent of a Woman this weekend. I didn't love it, but you know what? I'm glad I saw it!

Happiness... you piece of shit. You manipulative, gross-out, ensemble piece from hell. What were you trying to tell me? That everyone is suffering, even the culturally, and morally damned? That people find ways to keep themselves miserable? That child molesters are people too? You know what? I didn't get any of that... because you didn't resolve any of your one-dimensional character's story lines. Instead you show me a twelve year old boy cumming on the rail of his grandmother's balcony, and have the dog lick it up. "I came!" haha, very funny, Todd. The twelve year old boy who wants to be able to ejaculate the entire movie gets his way. That's ripe with metaphor. Happiness is the little things? Is that what it is, Todd? Great! Then tell me that fucking story, and leave the rest of the useless characters, and their miserable lives out of it.

I really HATE hating things, so I have really been trying to think of something to like about this movie. The pedophile father was the only story line that was even remotely telling. So Why did I need to meet Joy's parents? Why did I need to meet the woman who killed the door man? Why did I need to know Lara Flyn Boyle? What did Phillip Seymour Hoffman suddenly care about the annoying next door neighbor? Why did you start the movie with a character like Joy with an amazing opening scene, and then end her story with NOTHING! NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS MOVIE! It's on par with your typical gross-out comedy, except melodramatic, and pathetic. It is American Pie for the pretentious. Fuck this movie. I want my time back.

Wish I was here.

2009-02-16T15:53:00.000-08:00

This Time Last Year

2009-02-03T15:29:00.000-08:00

February 4th, 2009

I've been bad at keeping up with my friends blogs. When I do peek in now and then, it always makes me feel like I should only blog when something eventful happens. I feel like i'm still living in the world of the live-journal. The world of the time capsule.

I am going to bore you with a train of thought I had on the walk home from work. I relocated a calendar today to a more visible spot in the office and caught wind of todays significance... last year. I panicked slightly at even the thought that I would forget such a thing, but, as quickly as I upset, I was disappointed that I still cared. It's snowing again, here in New York. It has snowed at least once a week since I have returned from Texas / since 2009 began. And on the walk home I passed by a friends apartment. She lives on the second story, and I know her window in the least creepy way possible. I remembered how much I cared about her, and her significance in my life. Five years ago I did everything in my power just to be in the same room as her, and now, a block away, I feel nothing. She is the same person, maybe more defined. Just as pretty, just as flaky. Just as interesting, and just as intimidating. I had such a grand design for her continuing existence in my life. I wanted to learn things, be inspired. I am as close as I will ever be to this girl, and I do nothing. She does nothing as well, for she is the same person. The same person who calls me when she needs to have someone cat sit, but not when she needs a friend. Which is fine, I am reliable, devoted, and eager to please. Have I changed? Am I the same person, just slightly defined?

This time last year I was driving my band's van through the western portion of Texas, cracking my knuckles over and over and over again. The drive was 17 hours, and I did almost 12 of them. I was nervous, you see. I was torn between the choice of letting sleeping dogs lie, and taking a chance on calling this girl I met, a few months prior. I liked her. She told me she liked me too, but not enough to pretend I wasn't too far away. This would be my last tour, I knew that much for sure. This would probably be my last chance to call her, and see what it all meant. So I did, and left a nervous voice mail. It was simultaneously the best and worst decision I have yet to make in my social life. I am forever scarred, and blessed with the outcome. One year later I am stationary, as I wanted. I am writing again, as I wanted. I have a steady job, I am lucky. So, why am I still hanging on to red letter days?

Today I officially put to bed the first draft of my novel. I am 90% done with the skeleton, but I am so anxious to start all over again, I cannot focus on any another word of this version. I was hopelessly optimistic enough to think I would have something readable in time to pass off to my buddy Framps in two weeks, but I am just fine with taking my sweet time. This day will now have two significances.

-Mo

Alan Rickman and John Malkovich... Holding hands?

2009-01-27T20:10:00.000-08:00

I have done countless doodles for the adoring fans of fredflare.com... I already complained that I wanted someone to ask me to draw something interesting for a change... My friends, my wish came true.

Click on the picture to expand. I think it's my finest work to date. I wanted to title it 'Action movie Hell' but I would probably have gotten fired. My co-worker Larry recommended the title 'Con-Hard.' That just sounded too dirty. I hope you like it!

-Mo

On LOST 5x01/02

2009-01-22T19:55:00.001-08:00

I had to write a recap of the first two episodes of LOST season 5 for my work blog. It's on fredflare.com right now (that's where I work, in case you didn't know)

But what I didn't get to detail about, in my reader friendly recap, was how much respect I have for the writers and creators of the show. Surprisingly, I went into Season 5 with mixed emotions. It's hard to get excited about a show that has been so constantly good. I half-expected to be disappointed (guess that shows what kind of person I am...) Not disappointed in the sense that I thought it would be bad, but from a story teller's perspective, I could not for the life of me see what they were going to do this season, and keep the momentum they had built in the seasons past.

I was completely floored by the direction they took. It was unexpected, it was thrilling, and it was completely focused. I am so impressed. Lost has raised my expectations every year, and I'm sure I will be afraid this time next year, but hopefully I can re-read this and remind myself that there are talented story tellers out there still.

I'm gushing over a TV show. Seriously? Give me a break. I am excited by the strangest things, not to mention I am becoming a social recluse. But, at least I'm a recluse who might try making chicken curry tomorrow night, so that I might make it for others someday. That's forward thinking, right? Right? Ugh.

-Mo

on Woody Allen

2009-01-20T18:39:00.000-08:00

I've never considered myself neurotic. But 25 year old Mohamed Shafeek Jr. has double the amount of baggage as 23 year old Mohamed Shafeek Jr. At this rate... I will be a raging lunatic at 40. I am not insecure, but I am internalized. I have hang ups, and I have trouble letting go. I have become slightly insensitive to other peoples problems, or rationalizations of their morality. I have also become less obsessed with making sure all of my valuable assets (read: friends) are all resting comfortably on their mantle for me to display and any given moment. Don't get me wrong, I love them (you) all, but I've considered myself a bit of a collector my whole life... I mean, you've seen my DVD and CD collection. I think that might extend beyond the plastic disc realm. I have less to prove to most people, but here I am writing a novel trying to prove to myself that I can do it.

What's wrong with me? I'm sorry, I know I just barge in here and start talking about myelf, but I have to talk to someone... I haven't left my apartment to be social in almost three weeks. I am getting pretty sick of talking to myself. I hope you don't mind me unloading all of this on to you. I didn't think you would.

See that's why I like you, The Internet. You are so forgiving. I mean, you see so many things everyday... all of humanities flaws, and miracles. You host videos of 3 year old girls dancing to 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)' on youtube, and you don't judge that more people have watched it than videos... of substance! That's subjective, I know... I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know i've been going through a pretty rough time these past few months, and I don't really think anyone could benefit from having me in their life right now... I have some real deal shit to sort out... but I think I need to take a lesson from you. I need to just accept the way the world works: not because I'm forced to, but because I am a product of the world. A sum of what people choose to output, not keep in.

You don't seem like you are following. I guess I lost you. It's fine, I think I'm just venting. I think I'm just nervous. You see, I'm writing this book, and it's slightly based on real events. Real tragic events that happened to a dear friend of mine, and I am slightly terrified that when I ask her to read it, that I am going to upset her. I am finding my lack of sensitivity is just a narrowing of my compassion that needs to be directed toward the people who deserve it the most. Death is not a funny subject, but I have learned a lot through out the losses in my life, and I really want this to be perfect. I want to write this novel, be content with my capabilities, all while walking on the eggshells of a stigma I have less compassion towards than most. I am only preaching Acceptance. Acceptance of the things we cannot control in this world. Is that a decent moral? I think it is. I guess we'll see. I'm already half way done, there's no going back.

I think I will be okay when I'm 40... if I am allowed to turn these, and future insecurities into films and cast myself in the films along side beautiful actresses half my age... Man, Woody Allen is a genius.

-Mo

1/11 A.K.A. TMI

2009-01-11T13:11:00.000-08:00

I am back to work on my novel. I got a new computer five days ago. After uploading all of my music, and photos I had no more excuses and dived head first into something with the working title of 'Phoenix'. It will definitely not be called that, but I am struggling with a title, I'm thinking it will be taken from a line of dialogue yet to be born of my imagination. For now I will work on.

This time last year I was packing my bags for, what would inevitably become, my last tour.

I am now a resident of Brooklyn, 11206 and I am very pleased with the way things have been going since my stabilization. The only real problem I have had since I quit touring has been the recent onslaught of acne on my face. It has gotten out of control.

I have narrowed it down to small amount of new variables that have entered / exited my life in the last 8 months.

1. The copious amount of tea I have been drinking. This is specific, but not exclusive to, the amount of caffeine that has now entered my diet. I have never been a coffee drinker, nor have I ever been that into carbonated beverages (soda, pop, cola et. all) so my skin could just be reacting poorly to this horrible new dependance.

2. My regular diet of pasta, rice and beans, and salty salty meat, occasionally fried in olive oil. Hmmm.

3. The lack of sexual activity in my life. I have no scientific basis for this statement, but it is either a preventative measure on the part of my skin, keeping away the distracting, short term, nonsense-riddled, expensive nature of keeping myself on my social A-Game. I am trying to write a novel after all. The other side of that coin is, maybe my bad skin, is the cause of my lack of sexual activity. Just a hypothesis.

4. Working in a warehouse filled with cardboard. The driest climate in the north east can be found in fred flare warehouse, where I spend 8-9 hours a day packing boxes with tissue paper. I'm trying to keep hydrated the best I can, but tea is so much warmer, and palatable than water in the winter.

Maybe I should just see a dermatologist. I do have health insurance now. The perk of working a salaried position, something I never had on tour.

And speaking of health insurance, I just watched SiCKO by Michael Moore. I am surrounded by a wide variety of opinions on the school of Mr. Moore, so I will sit on my own view points at the risk of making anyone angry, but it was surprisingly the most optimistic of his films, and it made me realize how little about living in America I am truly dependent on, except for maybe the language barrier. Watch it, please and form your own opinion.

Mo

Simplify '09

2009-01-01T06:56:00.000-08:00

My computer died on election day. It was simulataneously a very liberating, and frustrating event. My job was snowballing into the holiday season, so all that social networking, and blogging i was doing would have been put on hold for the most part anyway...

okay, maybe not, but the novel I was writing on the laptop would certainaly have been, and hence, was. frustrating.

liberating? believe it or not, being free of the clutches of the internet makes you realize how little you actually need the internet. Okay, so I still had my blackberry, and it's lovely facebook application, but it's not the same.

I still don't have a computer, but it is the first day of 2009, and I am about to check out of a Hotel in downtown Austin, TX, and saw the computer lab (business center?) I am down here for NYE, and like a good tour manager would, I have to go be the bearer of bad news and wake up my friends who only went to bed about three hours ago, to get on the road to the airport.

It's only natural that I be the one to do this I suppose. I just learned that people are who they are, and don't really change. I spent the better part of the eve talking with a psych major about the rigid system in which people are categorized. I am apparently an ENFJ or an ENFP? I have to do the research, I had a few drinks, all I can remember is that the E stands for extravert. She pegged me on this, because I danced with her. The other letters defined my abilities (capabilities?) as a "mentor"... tour manager... mentor? Sure, I'll take it.

I am going to purchase a fresh new personal computer tomorrow, the second day of this year, and get back into writing, and communicating, and being a normal person.

One more tangent. I spent last new years eve with two good friends Laura (Texas) and Nash Breen, and in a slightly inebriated moment of clarity, I became a part of the resolution "Freedom '08". I don't know if I lived it to it's true definition, but I'd like to think 2008 was an excersize in freedom. I moved into my first apartment since 05, I started taking care of myself instead of others for a living, I got my heart broken for the first time (not the freedom I was looking for, but i've learned to be grateful for it's occurance.) This year, somehow, I managed to end up with Nash and Tex again around the end of the year, and witnessed the birth of "Simplify '09". I don't know what it means just yet, but let's chronicle this year, and see if i'm capable of following through.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Nerd.

2008-10-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

To anyone who ever doubted that their friend Mo Shafeek was a nerd...

and to anyone who is worried they have to deal with me talking about it all the time from now on, rest easy: I have accepted my fate as the only person on earth who loves these films.

We can finally move on now.

and for a real life update... I'm writing a novel. Fun huh? I'm two chapters in. Wish me luck.

My sincerest apologies.

2008-10-19T20:01:00.000-07:00

Not to any of you. Or even to myself. I want to make a formal apology to the Wachowski Brothers.

Yes. Those Wachowski Brothers. I think one of them is a woman now, so, maybe I should refer to them as the Wachowski Siblings.

I once did this thing where I bashed your films. Specifically the two sequels to your wonderfully accessible film Sci-Fi blockbuster: 'The Matrix'

Up until two weeks ago I had all but forgotten what that movie series represented to myself, and most of the movie going public. It was one of the more perfect examples of how to drive your franchise into the ground. I thought the second one was okay in all, in concept alone, but that third one? Man, what the hell were you thinking?

That subway scene?
That weird dialogue at the end.
Seriously?

So, I stumbled upon this box set at my favorite used record store, and there it was in all of it's glory. For twenty bucks, a ten disc special edition, advanced treatment for this trilogy, it's mythology, and it's animated short films.

Who the hell would ever buy this?

Much like the philosophy that now haunts me, I could not let it rest idly by. I had to know why there was ever a market for such a tragic trilogy. I opened the pages of the 40 page booklet inside of this set and read the special features and the foreword by the creators.

To summarize they apologize not for the films, but for the lack of commentary on this box set, saying that they would prefer their insight not to become the true dogma of the films, so instead they invited philosophers who dug the films, and critics who hated the films to have their own commentary each on each of the films, to allow for people to decide for themselves.

Huh?

Yeah, that's what i'm thinking.

Okay, so you make this movie series that everyone universally thinks stuttered to completion by it's third and final act and you invite philosophers who thought it was rad to match wits with the general public. That's pretty ballsy.

I had to know why.

So, a week later after a awful mistake on my end with the second address field on the Netflix sign up screen (who would think that working for an online web-store would allow for people to make such careless a mistake as not including their apartment number... 2B by the way) The Matrix Reloaded arrived in my mail box.

I brewed some tea, ate some dinner and turned off all the lights and said "Okay, let's see what you got"

Ahem...

So, needless to say from the tone of this, I went back the next day to buy that box set, but it was gone. And now I am ordering it from Amazon for far more than I could've paid.

I wish I could have experienced this with someone else, but I know I could not. It was a journey I had to go on alone.

But I apologize, Andy and Larry.

I will try to right my wrongs. I will tell anyone who asks my opinions, how I really feel now:

That you made one of the most philosophically entertaining movie I never gave the chance to inspire me.

I hope this finds you well.

Your biggest fan (again)

Mo Shafeek

P.S. I'm so so so so so so sorry I ever doubted you.

A Weekend In The City

2008-09-30T05:02:00.000-07:00

I don't usually condone things like this. I have plans after work to specifically deviate from my normal routine of boxed rice-o-roni and facebooking to go into the city to BUY three CDs of artists that deserve my support (Bayside - Shudder, Jenny Lewis - Acid Tounge, etc.) but I feel I need to clear the name of a great band who put out a brilliant disc two years ago.

I said I would discuss the bloc party show, and I will, soon, but it was brilliant. So brilliant that all the attendees that I knew were all like "what happened to them?" "I heard their last disc wasn't very good... or, I didn't even know they had a new disc...:

Bloc Party - A Weekend In The City

This disc is one of my favorites. The lyrics and song writing are so well crafted, and I don't know why the masses panned it.

Catch up. Have a listen. If you don't like it, don't buy it. But if you do, they have a NEW disc coming out at the end of October called Intimacy, which I think is brilliant, if not a bit less accessible than their previous efforts. Cheers.

The Mars Volta @ Hammerstein Ballroom

2008-09-29T04:38:00.000-07:00

Whenever i'm having a great time I tend to not document it. Part of the reason why there is little to no documentation of my last year of touring. Either way, here's a quick re-cap, since I woke up too early this morning and have a few minutes to spare.

Last wednesday I was invited to see the Mars Volta. I've never seen them, and my buddy Aric works for Universal (their ex-label) so he got a pair of free tickets, so I said why the hell not. I don't know if you've ever seen them, but I had no idea there was this super-hispanic-pride thing going on with this band. I know they sing in spanish sometimes, and that should have warned me, but the people in front of us had a Gigantic flag they were waving at the end of every song (if you've seen the mars volta you know that means every twenty-thirty minutes)

Very rarely do I get inspired by any sort of fashion icon. I never see an ad or a mannequin and thing, man, that could be me. But have you ever seen Cedric and Omar? I know I was in the mezzanine, but from that distance they looked like the coolest mother-fuckers I've ever seen. Maybe it's the hispanic fiber of my being, but I couldn't stop thinking about how I could create a strange punk-rocker-salsa-dancer aesthetic in my life. But, these feelings quickly subsided, as I entered my almost completely white world.

I like to post set lists for bands, but I couldn't even begin to figure that one out. I think they only played like seven songs (i'm being serious) and played for like 2 hours. It was amazing, but you kinda just have to go with it and no concentrate on waiting to see if they'll play your favorites (they didn't)

This took longer than I thought. I have to go to work. Next Up my experience at the free Bloc Party concert @ Roseland Ballroom.

Super-Amazing...

2008-09-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes at work customers ask us to draw something cute on their invoice... a job best left to someone with a steadier hand. But, regardless, I have become resident 'Doodlebugger'

I have so far drawn Miley Cyrus, A Jonas Brother, a giraffe, an owl, and a myriad of other not so interesting things...

But I rather enjoyed this one... I took a few liberties with her request.

click the photo to see it in all of it's glory... and for those who can't read the blurry text she asked me to draw her a "super amazing pair of green high heels"

Ode to TX

2008-09-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

I got a bittersweet text from a good buddy of mine, informing me that she was hosting a party tomorrow, with free drinks... and that we should drink them because she was going back to Paris pretty soon. I've gone months without seeing Texas, but it's always pretty lame when she leaves. This is my ode to her existence in my life for the last few months... Read her blog. She leads a far more interesting life than I do... and she's reeeeeally pretty.

Mason Dixon

2008-08-25T18:04:00.001-07:00

I've never regularly attended a place as often as I have been at Mason Dixon, every tuesday night. It's nothing out of the ordinary, and it isn't even some huge party, just friends cheap drinks, and bull riding.

The meganddias were in town between shows on their headlining tour (their first U.S. tour since I quit touring five months ago) and I took them down with reasonable expectations. I'm glad it ended up being the fantastic time that it did. Suejean (edit) was out in NYC for the first time in years (as a resident) and I exposed everyone to the dirty skeletons in our closets. She threatened my life, and told me that I'm doomed to be haunted by asians. I think she's right, but I wouldn't dare admit it to her face.

Tuesday the 19th of August.

2008-08-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

Today started off pretty gnarly.

I got sick to my stomach early on in the day, attempting to communicate with my ex-girlfriend. I sent her a birthday present last week, and she liked it, so of course I had to pester her to the point of embarrassment. Lesson learned.

Work was rougher than usual, and this week is going to be pretty crazy, but the silver lining was that I got to see my good friends / ex touring partners Meg & Dia today. Not only did I get to hear some of the new disc (amazing) but I got to enjoy their company for the better part of a whole NYC evening, which consisted of Dinner, drinks, and bull riding. I took it for granted because, i'm so used to seeing their faces everyday, that saying goodbye to them is slightly surreal. Chances are I won't see any of them until next year (except maybe Nick and Carlo if they come out for my birthday!) so, here's to the biggest relief of the day... something i've been rep-ing hard for the last few days: I love my friends. They are scattered across this odd shaped continent, but they make me who I am, and I would do anything for them, even when I don't tour manage them anymore (see, tomorrow, how is meg getting back to chestnut ridge, ny)

Hung out with Suejean (edit), she's back in town. Happy seven year anniversary, Suej. Here's a photo of the good times.

APW

2008-08-19T21:34:00.000-07:00

This all actually happened.

I scored the number of the girl who loved the heart pin on my man bag. But she never called me back. :(

Other than that, good times.

Official.

2008-08-14T16:27:00.000-07:00

As of 7:35PM today I officially have...

1) an apartment.

2) hot water.

3) gas (oh, grow up)

4) a bed.

5) a closet.

6) the internet.

7) a record player

8) all of my CDs alphabetized.

9) all of my DVDs back in their cases, and in alphabetical order.

and it only took four months.

it's good to be back.

X

2008-07-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

Mulder and Skully ended up being lovers. While it should give nerds like me hope that some day even we can find love, honestly, it was quite a cop-out. To end a series having two completely plutonic characters end up together, out of the blue. Scrubs is going to do that shit with JD and Elliot, and it's going to piss me off.

I saw The X-Files: I Want To Believe this afternoon, after hearing not-so-positive things about it. I won't spoil anything for anyone who hasn't seen it, or are on the fence, but it's on par with a good X-Files episode. Was it worth making into a summer-movie? Probably not. It's pretty low-budge. Not in a quality sense, but in a stakes, and in production reality. I don't see this movie costing anymore than 30 million to make. Much different than it's predecessor.

I was thinking, wouldn't be great if the entertainment industry didn't rely so heavily on big releases, and people like Chris Carter could just make a new episode of the X-Files once a year on Halloween or something? It would always have huge ratings. And rather than give the media chance to spit on your small-scale summer movie, they could praise your high-budget holiday special? I'd be there every year.

Oh... On the way out of the theatre the kid walking in front of me was wearing this...

I couldn't resist being a creep and photographing him while his mother guided him hand-in-hand down the busy manhattan streets. I don't know what "Mo Smells Red" means, but the Truth Is Out There.

Marathon Matt

2008-07-27T16:11:00.000-07:00

My brother ran a half marathon this morning. It's a tremendous accomplishment. You can read all about his inspiring video-gamer-to-athlete story on his blog.

Warped Tour 2008

2008-07-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

I miss Warped Tour. Anyone who's ever been on it will tell you that's a very hard thing to admit... but I guess not a hard thing to act on, seeing as so many people I know have done several rounds of it.

I went with my buddy Jonathan, who also currently plays bass in Meg & Dia, the most recent band I used to tour manage. We didn't go to see any bands really... Not in the conventional sense. Just to see some old friends. New York is a tough market to live in, knowing that your friendship and admiration can amount to nothing when you're competing with labels and managers. So we aimed low, and didn't attempt to commandeer any attention than we usually take up.

We did watch one band, just because we kind of ended up in the right place at the right time. The Oreska Band was on the last leg of the tour last year and became Jonathan and my guilty pleasure. Jonathan even went as far as to ask their bass player to hang out with us one day. They are only fluent in Japanese, so he had to ask her out through their translator. She said "yes," according to the translation, but she never showed. Bitch.

I present to you only a minute of All Girl / All Japanese / All Ska. If you end up at warped tour, I would highly suggest checking them out, before they end up on the Disney Channel. That's all I'm saying.

Darkness.

2008-07-22T20:40:00.001-07:00

I've seen every movie this summer. Even The Happening (yuck.) Only two have been worth reviewing. I wrote a review for The Dark Knight for my job. I blog there too every wednesday. It should be posted soon. But, they made me amend it. The Un-abridged version will be up here shortly. I loved it, duh. No question there.

Oh, in completely unrelated news, in case you cared, the owners of Drive Thru Records had their houses Foreclosed. Also, their star band Hellogoodbye is dropping them as management, and suing them. I'm not one to wish poorly on others, but... seeing as how I hung out with some of their victims tonight, and I'm tipsy, I can't help but say Karma is a bitch.

Proof!

2008-07-20T18:25:00.000-07:00

If you go to Michelle Branch's Sugar Bar Blog you can read about how excited I made her, when I sent her those neat little cupcake stands. Yeah... that's right. Me.

I should've left her a little hand drawn note like Amanda Goss, the cupcake lady did, inside of the box, then she would've loved me.

Woulda / Shoulda / Coulda....

Some Serious Shit...

2008-07-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

I heard about this, when my boss was considering buying some for the holiday season. He couldn't order them, sadly. Apparently they are hard to get, and now I know why. Apparently only a thousand are being made. Of all the things to buy me, to earn my love INSTANTLY, and FOREVER...

Just putting it out there.

August 1st, 2008

2008-07-19T17:59:00.000-07:00

I finally have an apartment.

72 Scholes St. Brooklyn, NY.

I don't move in for two weeks, making it a little over four months since i've been home from tour. Making it almost 14 months since i've unpacked.

I'm celebrating by going to see the RX bandits at High Line Ballroom. Who wants to go?

Spirit Room

2008-07-19T17:54:00.000-07:00

Last week I got to send a package to Michelle Branch.

For anyone who knows anything about me, you know how big of a deal that is.

She ordered three cupcake stands for the bakery she is opening in Nashville.

I packed it extra nicely for her. If only I had a written a love note like Preston from Can't Hardly Wait. Fate finally allowed me to convince her to leave her husband and run away with me and I blew it.

Oh, well. I'll just have to settle for her next record coming out this summer.

Cold Open

2008-06-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

I'm having a hard time telling a straight forward narrative these days. I think that's been my problem with updating any sort of journal. This is what they call a Cold Open. No theme-song. No recap. Any past information will come in the form of a flashback.

I left work yesterday with every intention of going back to the apartment I'm crashing at to shower, and prepare myself a quick dinner.

At work (www.fredflare.com) I don't eat very much. It's partially a time-management thing, but mostly it's a money-management thing. New York City is awfully expensive, as most can imagine. I find it easier on my wallet to resist eating out for lunch everyday and conditioning myself to enjoy a constant stream of Peanut Butter and Honey sandwiches. But that leaves me starving by 7PM when I approach the apartment. So when I arrived to little more than a dial tone on the video phone, I convinced myself it was a sign I was meant to try my luck uptown at Madison Square Garden at the Sold Out Coldplay concert.

For those that didn't know, Coldplay put out a new record last week. In support they announced a string of free shows across several countries: London, Barcelona, New York, and a few others. Some sort of website contest that was announced in the beginning of May. Tickets sold out in minutes, I'm sure, and I was left scouring Craigslist for a kind soul who didn't' know what to do with their extra pair of Free tickets... That said, tickets were being placed up by scalpers for as high as $2,000 a pair. Talk about a profit. With this in mind, and nothing in my stomach I ascended to midtown.

After well over an hour of making awkward eye contact with any single person in a crowd, I was ready to give up when my placement next to an awkward Texan with a sign asking for tickets ended up working in my favor.

"are you a cop?" asked a samaritan.

"no... absolutely not" said the awkward texan.

In retrospect, the samaritan who wanted to give away his two extra tickets was, kind of ignorant to think that he was going to get arrested for not making a profit off of his free tickets, but I digress...

The awkward texan and I shared our excitement and quick introductions before finding our seats in the nosebleeds. He bought four beers and popcorn, and I bought a really expensive pizza-like-substance to fill my stomach finally. As I sat there next to a person I just met, in my work clothes I smiled for the first time in a while.

Set List:

Life In Technicolor

Violet Hill

Clocks

In My Place

Viva La Vida

Chinese Sleep Chant

God Put A Smile Upon Your Face

Trouble

Square One

Lost!

Strawberry Swing

Yellow

Fix You

Lovers In Japan

The production design was unlike anything I've ever seen for a one off. I'm still searching for photos of the huge orbs that hung from the ceiling, or the laser light show.